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“October extinguished itself in a rush of howling winds and driving rain and November arrived, cold as frozen iron, with hard frosts every morning and icy drafts that bit at exposed hands and faces.”
― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
I haven't been active on here in forever. Every week or two I log on, cast a despairing gaze over the mounting numbers in my inbox, and slowly drag my cursor back to the little red x one more time. I haven't written anything in forever, either, and I can feel the creative parts of my brain slowly shrivelling into nuggets. Going to try to change that, hopefully.
A lot of shit has happened recently??? and I'm still processing everything and learning how to human again.
I decided to take a semester off from college to focus on work -- then my car broke down and I lost my job. I lost my 4 month old godson to SIDS a few days before Halloween. I'm on the verge of losing my apartment but desperately clinging to any vestiges of hope that I can still pull myself up by the bootstraps (will edit/proofread/write papers for monies???).
On the flip side of the coin, my sister moved back in with me after a crash-and-burn attempt at living with her dad (we're both much happier when she's here). I'm finally losing weight and making my health (both physical and mental) a priority. And best of all, I met an amazing man who treats me like gold and made me remember what feelings are and why I shouldn't disconnect from people altogether.
So... here's to making the rest of 2015 count.
― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
I haven't been active on here in forever. Every week or two I log on, cast a despairing gaze over the mounting numbers in my inbox, and slowly drag my cursor back to the little red x one more time. I haven't written anything in forever, either, and I can feel the creative parts of my brain slowly shrivelling into nuggets. Going to try to change that, hopefully.
A lot of shit has happened recently??? and I'm still processing everything and learning how to human again.
I decided to take a semester off from college to focus on work -- then my car broke down and I lost my job. I lost my 4 month old godson to SIDS a few days before Halloween. I'm on the verge of losing my apartment but desperately clinging to any vestiges of hope that I can still pull myself up by the bootstraps (will edit/proofread/write papers for monies???).
On the flip side of the coin, my sister moved back in with me after a crash-and-burn attempt at living with her dad (we're both much happier when she's here). I'm finally losing weight and making my health (both physical and mental) a priority. And best of all, I met an amazing man who treats me like gold and made me remember what feelings are and why I shouldn't disconnect from people altogether.
So... here's to making the rest of 2015 count.
2017 Reading Challenge
.....challenge me. Give me shit to read. I read ~40 books in 2016; I want to double that this year.
currently
inching my way through my inbox.
only checking visual art deviations right now; will get to literature later.
expect +fave spam for the next few days.
you don't have to thank me. *m*
I apologize for my inability to comment.
just because:
have some pictures of me & my love :heart:
we got all dressed up and went to the local hookah lounge, it was splendiferous
it's been a good year for the roses
what the fuck are you doing?!
her fingers skitter through the drawer,
utensils rattling like blunted wind chimes
fuck you, that's what!
in the bedroom, the baby is crying:
he grabs her arm and snatches the knife
that she chopped vegetables with
(was it only last night?) and holds it high
give it back! I hate you!
you wanna hurt yourself? -
quit being such a fucking bitch about it!
one - two - three - four -
he doesn't even feel the skin peel back,
but when he sees the blood
spurt from his arm, he wonders,
is this seeing red?
everything is a blur of adrenaline and rage
she screams, twists away from him,
and slams her head i
Devious Journal Entry
three weeks off my meds has really taken a toll
sleeping upwards of 12 hours a day because i just have no energy
i literally have to force myself to get out of bed
i've become so anti-social that i've alienated my friends and family
every day it gets harder to paste a smile on my face and act like everything is okay
nothing feels real, like i'm made of plastic
but somehow after months of not writing, it's all coming out like word vomit???
gonna see the shrink next week and get my meds refilled
sooner or later, it's gotta stop raining
© 2015 - 2024 dietcocaine
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